When I first decided to commit to eight weekends of yoga teacher training on top of a full time work load, I knew that I would reach a point where I questioned my decision. I just didn’t expect it to go down quite like this.
Last week was a tough week. For various reasons that I won’t go into right now, but mainly because I was feeling worn down and sleep deprived. The only thing getting me through the week was knowing in a week and a half, I would have a weekend off to spend with Jimmy and friends. So when I found out on Thursday that the snow was postponing Friday and Saturday’s class to the next weekend, ruining all my plans for my one weekend off, this was the last straw that broke me. (Dramatic, I know.)
I let myself feel sad for the day and woke up the next day in much better spirits. I went to a yoga class and vowed to use the two days I had off due to the snow productively. (Which, I think I succeeded in.)
The more I thought about my situation over the weekend, the more I laughed to myself. Somehow this training has already tested me in ways I never thought imaginable. Taking away my one free weekend as a way to challenge my ability to go with the flow and let go of expectations/plans? Yoga gods you win again.
Unfortunately, this amusement didn’t translate to the hours I did spend in training this weekend. I woke up Sunday morning with this horrible pit of anxiety in my stomach. This has never happened to me before. I tried to calm myself down with deep breathing, meditation, and a solid breakfast, but nothing helped.
That set the tone for the day and I spent the rest of it dreading every moment of the 11-hour training. I seriously had no idea what was wrong with me. It showed in my teaching. It showed in my voice. It showed on my face. I couldn’t focus or find balance- my mind was all over the place.
I know every day of training isn’t going to be perfect and I’m certainly going to have off days. I’m not so much worried about what happened today as I am trying to make sure this doesn’t continue going forward. I know myself and I know I need a little break.. some time to get my focus and motivation back.
So I decided the best way is to just move forward and practice some positive affirmations this week. As a part of training, we were given a set of note cards with positive thoughts written on them to review. I figured now was as good of a time as any to start using them.
For those of you in the northeast tell me about your weekend snow adventures! Everyone else, tell me how you bounce back from a funk.