“Yoga is the practice of tolerating the consequences of being yourself.”
In a yoga practice, there’s no escaping yourself. That sounds scary, but it’s actually really awesome. Yoga forces you to confront yourself and who you truly are. You’re left to your own thoughts, your own body and you just kind of have to surrender to it. Yoga isn’t about escaping your inflexibility and forcing yourself into a pose. It’s about understanding who you are, your strengths, your limits and working with them. It’s about clearing everything else out, other’s expectations, pressures and labels, and creating space for your authentic self.
During training we’ve been doing a lot of meditation and yesterday we went for a full 20 minutes. Meditation is something I’ve never really done but have always been intrigued by. For the last 10 minutes, my feet fell asleep and I was fighting the urge to fidget. It got to the point where it was almost painful and all I could think about was how much I wanted to stop. But before that it was pretty awesome haha.
It’s cool to see what comes into your head when you remove all the stimulus of your daily life and are just left with stillness. This time for me, I was struck by this strong feeling of contentment. And once I realized it was there my mind started racing.
One year ago all I wanted to feel was content.
And now here I am – “content” – and I hadn’t even taken a moment to recognize it?
I realized that somewhere in the past year the feeling of dread to wake up every morning became excitement for the future. My anxiety over ‘what’s next’ turned into being present minded. And my imbalances suddenly felt balanced.
It felt so great to acknowledge this in that moment. To recognize that, no, everything may not be perfect but that I’m okay with that. I’ve come so far in the past year (or two) that I can’t help but feel proud of myself. Proud for not letting myself get stuck. For not accepting my reality. For being proactive about my career, relationships and happiness.
It feels good.. and I decided then that I’d love to make meditation a daily thing (and maybe work up to 20 minutes slower haha).
So, weekend number two is in the books! I can’t believe I’m actually saying this.. but the weekends are flying by!
This weekend was a lot less eventful than last weekend (in a good way), we started to settle into a nice routine and everything just felt more comfortable. I started to really make connections with my other trainees and conversations flowed with ease. My 10-page reflection paper that has been hanging over my head for months was finally turned in. I spent every night (and lunch break) last week working on it and I’m actually really happy with how it turned out. It feels great to have that done with because it was the last thing on my massive to-do list that I made two weeks ago. I felt like this huge weight lifted off of me this weekend, in more ways than one.
If I haven’t said this already, I’m so glad I decided to do this teacher training. I can’t believe I actually had fears that I’d be the youngest trainee or the only one that couldn’t do some of the advanced poses. We have such a wide range of ages, personalities and abilities in the class- but everyone 100% completely belongs there.
Do you meditate? Or have you ever tried?