The end of this weekend marked the half way point of Yoga Teacher Training! This is usually the point where I would say, ‘oh my gosh I can’t believe how fast it’s going!’ .. but that’s not how I feel. I was talking to another girl in my class on Saturday and she said, “I don’t think anyone really wants to be here” and for some reason that made me feel so much better. I don’t have to love every second. I just have to get through it. Did I really expect to enjoy sacrificing every ounce of my weekend for over two months? Lets be real.
But enough negative, the training itself is certainly not bad – in fact, there’s so much good. My fellow teacher trainees are awesome. I’m not just saying that and the more I get to know them the more I feel that way. We have already started to form a unique bond with each other and the love and support in the room is easily felt. My favorite part of training is the individual presentations, when each person gets a chance to share their story.
Friday night was hard. My head was everywhere but yoga training, so when I was called to teach my voice sounded monotone and bored. I was bored teaching, so I can only imagine how my students felt. I was so disconnected that I didn’t even care and immediately forgot about it. I spent the rest of the night crying while moving through Vinyasa after Vinyasa. That was a first. Luckily, no one noticed. This experience made me really respect yoga teachers, though (if I didn’t already): coming to class, time after time, being present and mindful, no matter what’s going on in their personal life.. that’s challenging! I don’t know how they do it and I clearly have a lot to learn.
Saturday morning we were all instructed to randomly draw a card from the deck I mentioned a couple weeks ago. I got, “Smile, breathe and let go.” Not only was this the exact card I chose out of the deck before, it was the three things I hadn’t been doing that week. It was definitely a turning point in the weekend and I tried to keep repeating it over and over to myself.
Saturday went much better. I finally slept well (probably out of pure exhaustion) and we jammed in so much to the 11 hour day that I didn’t have time to think much. I think we practiced for at least four hours Saturday.. I was pretty sour by the end of it but excited for Sunday since they hinted multiple times it would be a fun day.
Which I think it was! We had an intensive assisting workshop from two really awesome, experienced teachers. We learned the basics of assisting and got to practice a lot. Overall, I’m not the biggest fan of touching people and thought I would hate it. Turns out.. I liked it a lot and it wasn’t awkward at all! I liked knowing that I was helping my students get deeper into their practice. I have to assist five classes before the end of training so we’ll see how I feel when it’s people I don’t know, but for now I’m happy with my progress : )
Though I’ve had my doubts over the past four weeks, I do still want to be a yoga teacher. I think once I actually get a chance to practice on my own and build my confidence up, I could make a really good teacher.
Few.. that was a lot. If you stuck with me way to go! Also thanks everyone for your thoughts yesterday!