The end of this weekend marked the half way point of Yoga Teacher Training! This is usually the point where I would say, ‘oh my gosh I can’t believe how fast it’s going!’ .. but that’s not how I feel. I was talking to another girl in my class on Saturday and she said, “I don’t think anyone really wants to be here” and for some reason that made me feel so much better. I don’t have to love every second. I just have to get through it. Did I really expect to enjoy sacrificing every ounce of my weekend for over two months? Lets be real.
But enough negative, the training itself is certainly not bad – in fact, there’s so much good. My fellow teacher trainees are awesome. I’m not just saying that and the more I get to know them the more I feel that way. We have already started to form a unique bond with each other and the love and support in the room is easily felt. My favorite part of training is the individual presentations, when each person gets a chance to share their story.
Friday night was hard. My head was everywhere but yoga training, so when I was called to teach my voice sounded monotone and bored. I was bored teaching, so I can only imagine how my students felt. I was so disconnected that I didn’t even care and immediately forgot about it. I spent the rest of the night crying while moving through Vinyasa after Vinyasa. That was a first. Luckily, no one noticed. This experience made me really respect yoga teachers, though (if I didn’t already): coming to class, time after time, being present and mindful, no matter what’s going on in their personal life.. that’s challenging! I don’t know how they do it and I clearly have a lot to learn.
Saturday morning we were all instructed to randomly draw a card from the deck I mentioned a couple weeks ago. I got, “Smile, breathe and let go.” Not only was this the exact card I chose out of the deck before, it was the three things I hadn’t been doing that week. It was definitely a turning point in the weekend and I tried to keep repeating it over and over to myself.
Saturday went much better. I finally slept well (probably out of pure exhaustion) and we jammed in so much to the 11 hour day that I didn’t have time to think much. I think we practiced for at least four hours Saturday.. I was pretty sour by the end of it but excited for Sunday since they hinted multiple times it would be a fun day.
Which I think it was! We had an intensive assisting workshop from two really awesome, experienced teachers. We learned the basics of assisting and got to practice a lot. Overall, I’m not the biggest fan of touching people and thought I would hate it. Turns out.. I liked it a lot and it wasn’t awkward at all! I liked knowing that I was helping my students get deeper into their practice. I have to assist five classes before the end of training so we’ll see how I feel when it’s people I don’t know, but for now I’m happy with my progress : )
Though I’ve had my doubts over the past four weeks, I do still want to be a yoga teacher. I think once I actually get a chance to practice on my own and build my confidence up, I could make a really good teacher.
Few.. that was a lot. If you stuck with me way to go! Also thanks everyone for your thoughts yesterday!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
My experience has been similarly rewarding and exhausting. We are doing assisting this weekend! I’m really excited. I hope that whatever is going on will be okay.
I cannot imagine that something THAT intensive would be enjoyable the entire way through but it sounds like you are getting a lot out of it! I hope I can take one of your yoga classes one day
When I read this post I had a million things to say, but I had to run to tutor so I couldn’t say them. I can only remember a few of them, but anyway..
That being said, I don’t know how yoga teachers do it… I would constantly get my left and right mixed up haha.
#1- Last night at my yoga call Michael was talking about how he was pretty tired when he came to class, but that being there really energized him. I think that happens to a lot of yoga teachers/teachers in general. I rarely have time at work to feel tired or feel anything really except just stay focused. I have had some crazy moments where I just have to teach and not worry about it, and it usually goes pretty well. Sometimes better than the regular days because I am so focused on just staying focused where as other days I may lose focus. I think when you have your own class, you will just get it together because you will know you have to. I also have been to yoga teachers who I think were having an off day, and I think that’s okay too
#2- I love when I have one of those moments where I’m like okay I’m not alone in hating this haha. It’s a great feeling.
#3- I can’t wait to go to your yoga classes.
Yeah, you’re right.. they must just get in the zone. Surprisingly, I have yet to mix up my left and rights! That’s actually like the least challenging aspect for me haha. I meant to email you today – we need to arrange a time I can practice on you and Eric soon!
I think that it’s a lot to take in and an intense experience at the same time that it totally makes sense to feel overwhelmed to say the least. You don’t have to love every moment – I think that would be impossible – but I do hope that the remainder of your training goes well.
Caroline, thank you so much for sharing an honest opinion of your training. I’m sure I would be feeling the same way if I was piling as much on my plate as you are! It’s good that even when you felt disconnected and stressed, you realized how hard it must be for teachers to put life aside and teach a good class! There is a lesson to be learned there! Congrats on being halfway through
You will get through it, and you will be a much stronger person on the other side!
I am glad you are sharing your experience with us as I am sure some of your readers will pursue this as well and i think it helps to go in with realistic expectations of what it will be like.
I am glad the hands on assists went ok for you! I actually really like having corrections or when the teacher helps me get deeper in a pose. Plus sometimes it’s just nice to have someone touch you in a caring way (ok, I hope that doesn’t sound creepy!).